The way that I wish to address what is occurring around me is to honor what is happening inside me. My mind is incredibly powerful. It is literally hiding out inside of a bunch of gray matter that sits between my ears. Below me are some much more archaic mechanical instruments that have been employed to guide me along my path. I have no idea where I would be going except for the fact that I have been kindly given this intuitive navigation system that gives me some basic input if I choose to acknowledge it.
Acknowledging anything seems to be a chore in and of itself. The self, now I am getting somewhere. After all, isn't that where we all wish to go? Somewhere, anywhere other than where we are at. I'm sorry; I know I shouldn't speak for you. Hell, I don't even know who I am let alone what is best for you. But you know what? Ill let you in on a little game I like to play. I can forget about me and what I don't like about myself if I focus on you. This type of focus is really distracting. It involves all sorts of weird stories that I have to not only tell myself but actually build a life around as if this story was the truth.
The story I write with my mind or more appropriately, the story I create nestled deep down in this endless sea of gray matter between the sound equipment of this machine that's been assigned me to get around a planet that I always wanted to experience is fiction. It's not true. All stories are fiction. Memory circuits connect me to memories. The memories that I won't let go of are all based on the slant that I have assigned my leading man which in this particular go around on earth is rob Gallagher. Gray in the middle. I've died a million times just trying to learn how to live. I've compromised moments to stay hidden beneath the surface of the life that I won't share with myself let alone anyone else. We all do this. We all find ourselves compromising this or selling out for that.
I have to begin again. I have to really let go of all that I hold dear to this story that is dragging me along its path. It's pulling me down to a level that all but ensures my return trip to earth once more.
Love and fear are not separate. Life and death are no different. They are not even different sides of the same story. This is all what we have made of a story that started long ago. It is none of my business what you want to feel. I have no right trying to talk you in or out of whatever you are doing. These feelings are a guide to truth. The feelings that I have stuffed, numbed killed and sacrificed are the one constant that have never changed in this cycle of earth experience that I have led. There is this whole world that I have judged and dissected and put into little compartments within my story. The story I write on these pages doesn't make any sense to me.
The time has come to really question exactly what it is that I want for myself in this life I live. There has to be some sort of way to escape the wrath of the story I've created. I have the power and the right to change things up. I can choose my own adventure. I can do as I please as long as it is not at the expense of another. There are some ground rules to the game I have agreed to play. I agreed to the terms of my life upon arrival to earth. I chose my parents. I picked my name. I found myself staring down the barrel of a world that had been created long before I arrived and it shall be here after I leave. It is almost in the exact same place that it was in what I left it last. So how much power do I really have in this life that I live? How do I wake up to an empty page where I can begin again? I will need to unlearn all of the shit that has been accepted as truth. Peace
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This world is God's Lila.They say all is infinite contiousness.That ultimately there are no pairs of opposites like you and me hot and cold pleasure and pain etc.Allthese must be endured with equinemity.
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